To Grieve Is To Love

Grief and loss are about death, but not all deaths are the same. Grief and loss are some of the most profound and painful experiences in life.

Its pain is ever-present; everything can change without permission or a say. What was once seen as safe, secure, and stable is gone. The emotion of grief and feeling of loss is a process that speaks truth about the love we have known, how to love deeply and dearly, and honors what is purposeful and meaningful.

The living can be grieved and a loss too. Death may feel and look like stagnation or listlessness. Staying in a relationship, place, or position with no benefit, need, want, service, depth, meaning, or purpose is a form of death. Not having a break, pause, or distance from the overwhelm of loss is also a form of death. It’s worth grieving, too.

Grief hollows and loss creates space. Grief and loss come in many forms; one story is evident on the surface, but says another message.  

The job or position that took too much …

Sold out my time and energy for what? Did the work matter?

A close friend who lost touch …

Why don’t we hang out anymore? Are they moving on without me?

A parent suffering from a terminal illness …

They’re leaving me; they were supposed to be there for me. Now what?  

Feeling helpless, powerless, resentful, or even relieved are all valid when experiencing grief and loss. The presence of grief and loss means someone will not be forgotten or something will not be taken again. Even when that seems pointless or a struggle to endure. What comes next often comes from the ashes. It means to create life with what isn’t anymore and to create life anew … even from the ashes.